Somebody Break My Fall
by BreakMyDreams
Summary: To an outsider looking in, it would be easy to believe that Kurt Hummel really did have it all.  Trigger warning for eating disorders.
1. Chapter 1

A/N-This story is dedicated to Pantlesshero, I hope this is what you were looking for, and thank you so much for all of the inspiration you have given me! 3

To an outsider looking in, it would be easy to believe that Kurt Hummel really did have it all; after breaking into the world of fashion as a model at the tender age of sixteen, he'd spent twelve years representing the biggest names in the business on catwalks all over the world. He'd managed to do what some considered the impossible by keeping up his career and his grades, graduating from college and launching his own line of clothing at the age of twenty-four, doing what so many before him had dreamed of by not only putting together the show that launched his line but also walking in it. When the announcement was made that Kurt would retire from fulltime modeling at the age of twenty-eight, rumors had run rampant. People in the industry heard that he was finally settling down with that hot little piece of arm candy he'd been parading around for years, and others heard how designers and agencies alike had begged and pleaded for him to reconsider.

It quickly became apparent that the first rumor was false at least; when just a month after the announcement of his retirement came he stepped out for the first time in nearly ten years without Jesse St. James on his arm. He'd said very little to the press when questioned, only stating that the pressures in both his career and personal life had become too much and that after focusing on what everyone else wanted for such a long time, he thought it was time to focus on himself. In the weeks and months that followed it seemed that he was doing just that, there were very few public appearances and even the late-night club hopping that was expected of a young, successful, and single male never came. It looked as though the young star was once again doing the impossible, slipping seamlessly back into a semi-normal life without so much as a hitch.

Kurt groaned as he rolled out of bed, hitting the off button on his alarm and silencing the annoying rhythm it was beeping out, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and running a hand through his hair as he started his morning routine. It was the same every day; coffee, gym for two hours, shower, morning moisturizing, meeting with his stylist, meeting with his manager, and then he was off to his clothing lines offices. It felt like he spent just a few extra minutes at the office every day and he absently wondered how long it would be until he just moved in and gave up on the façade that he actually had a social life or actually slept for more than a couple of hours a night. Things had been like this for years though and he was grateful for that, because the idea of the alternative, the idea of living in Ohio and working a dead end job like the rest of his friends and family still gave him nightmares occasionally.

He had just finished his moisturizing and was picking through his expansive wardrobe with his stylist, wrapped up tight in a fluffy white robe when he remembered that today in fact wasn't just like every other day. Today there would be no meeting with his manager, because Kurt Hummel no longer had one; retiring from modeling meant that there was nothing for Jamie, the lady who had discovered him all those years ago, to manage. He floundered momentarily, unsure of what to do with the one hour gap that now existed in his daily routine, fixing his stylist with his patented glare when the girl suggested he get lunch then. He'd never stopped for lunch before and he sure as hell wasn't going to start now, no, not when the press was digging for things to report about him. It would be just his luck that he'd be spotted and tomorrow morning it'd be all over the internet that he was well on his way to entering the ranks of Tyra and super-sizing in his retirement. He'd just go into the office an hour early, there was always so much to be done and maybe, just maybe, the extra hour earlier in the day would give him the incentive to leave an hour early in the evening.

It didn't though, and he quickly formed a new routine in the weeks that followed and couldn't help but be disappointed when he realized the pressure he'd been trying to escape, the pressure that had lead to him leaving modeling and his boyfriend, had only seemed to increase. With his fashion line being his main point of success now, Kurt felt compelled to put just as much of the energy that he'd put into his modeling into his designs; the dreams he'd had of day's off at the spa and nights on the town with the many men who had shown interest quickly faded. The day's and week's ran together until Kurt found himself wondering if the apple and coffee he'd had was at breakfast that morning or the morning before and looking at his clock, unable to tell if it was seven am or seven pm. He still went to the gym everyday though, he made sure of that, there was no way that Kurt Hummel was going to become a fat ass, so when his employees began to file out for lunch each day, he'd follow them out and head to the gym and then home for a quick shower.

He brushed off those who told him that he was working too hard, if he didn't then who would and how would his line stay on top? He ignored the exhaustion when it began to set it, claiming each day that he would leave earlier tomorrow, he'd get a few more hours sleep and be fine but that never happened. He smiled to himself the first time he found that his jeans were just a little too big but found himself promising his stylist that he'd remember to eat dinner from now on when most of his new wardrobe was found to be ill fitting. Kurt knew that things were getting out of control when he started having dizzy spells and each time he found himself clutching at the edges of his desk, waiting for his vision to clear, he told himself that this was the last time, that he'd get help. It had nearly been a year since his retirement when everything finally crashed down around him; he couldn't remember the last time he slept or the last time he'd eaten for that matter but he knew it was lunchtime from the way that everyone was hurrying towards the door. He honestly doesn't remember standing up from behind his desk and he most certainly doesn't remember hitting the floor, he only remembers bits and pieces of the ride to the hospital but he knows that he won't ever be able to forget when he woke up to the most amazing pair of honey-brown eye's he's ever seen.


	2. Dr Anderson

Blaine Anderson had everything a man in his thirties was supposed to want and yet at the same time, he had nothing that _he_ actually wanted. He was an Ivy League educated doctor, whose tuition had been paid in full by his parents; he had a gorgeous penthouse in New York City, and women lining up around the block for a chance at a date with him. He was also gay. At thirty-two years of age, Blaine wouldn't exactly say that he was in the closet, no, he'd told his parents shortly after he'd come to terms with his sexuality when he was thirteen years old. He'd prepared himself for several different reactions, he however never expected his father to laugh himself to tears at the dinner table before clapping him on the shoulder and telling him that he was too young to know what he liked. Not long after that conversation he'd found himself being set up on dates by his parents and really, it wasn't so bad; he was only thirteen and most of these girls weren't expecting any more than a trip to the movies, in the end it felt like he was just hanging out with a friend most of the time.

He played that game all the way up through high school, only going on one or two dates with each girl; it was enough to keep his parents off his case and enough for most of the girls to not expect anything more than handholding and a peck on the cheek. Thing's changed in college, there was some experimenting done on his part, and yes, oh God, yes, he was most certainly gay but it was all done in secret. He had to be on the lookout at all times, he attended his father's alma mater, much to his dismay, and as it turned out, his father still had a lot of connections around campus that were all too happy to report back on his son's activities. The only bright spot during those years turned out to be the grueling workload his major required and his father's apparent understanding that classes came before dating. He may not have wanted to attend Harvard, and he may not have wanted to become a doctor but it got him out of Ohio and in the long run, it got him to New York, and far away from his parents.

He worked long hours, and odd ones at that, and any time he didn't spend at the hospital or at his clinic was spent hiding out in his apartment; living off of take out and trying to come up with new and creative excuses for turning down the ladies offers at work. It was a dull existence but it was slightly better than he had been hoping for when the first and for awhile there, only offer that came after graduation had been back home, right under the watchful gaze of his father. He still wished every day that he was going to work somewhere other than a hospital though and he had distant dreams of going back to school at some point, possibly after his father finally kicks the bucket, but for now, it's the hospital and even if he doesn't like it, he is good at his job. It's also slightly comforting to know that even though he did go into medicine, it wasn't surgery like his parents had so hoped. He'd grown up hearing about how his mother longed to brag about her son, 'the heart doctor', Blaine doesn't think she wants to talk about her son, the psychiatrist, at all of her garden parties and that's a small victory.

It's his day off today, but he's at the hospital, he always ends up there, but today is slightly different; he's not been called in to see one of his regulars, he's been called in for a consultation. He agreed to come in, mostly because the vagueness of his colleague's explanation caught his interest, he picked up the words 'discreet' and 'high profile' through his sleepy haze when the call came in but that was about it. The chart that he's handed doesn't have a name on it, which sets off alarm bells for him, and after reading through it, the words 'exhaustion' and 'underweight' jumping out at him, he decides that he must be dealing with a celebrity of some sort. This sets him on edge because, in general, celebrities are bitchy, and Blaine can barely suppress a frustrated sigh when he realizes that he probably drug himself out of bed just to deal with someone's manager while they try to get their client into the Betty Ford Center.

He's more than a little surprised when he seeks out the room and finds that there are no managers, no publicist, no security guards, and no family even surrounding the room, just one young lady who looks overworked and under rested. Once she realizes that the doctor has finally arrived she scurries out of the room, mumbling something about letting him know that she had to get back to work. He enters the room feeling even more confused and find's a man, probably somewhere around his age, asleep with an IV and a couple of wires attached, it's nothing out of the ordinary but he can't place the face of this 'celebrity' with a name off of the top of his head. He does note that the man is quite attractive, but he pushes that thought aside quickly as he searches out the in-room chart, flipping it open to find that this man is 'Kurt Hummel', which sounds familiar but he still can't quite place. He checks the wires and IV, making sure that nothing is tangled and is about to leave because there is no use for him there when the patient is sleeping but when he looks back up he finds himself staring into the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen.

He feels like he could drown in those eyes, but he quickly grounds himself, clearing his throat, "Mr. Hummel", He says, plastering on what he thinks is his least threatening smile, "I'm glad to see you've regained consciousness, now", He pauses, clearing his throat again, "Do you think you can tell me why you're here?"


	3. Coffee

The first thing that Blaine notes is that his patient seems confused, he knows the month, and the year, but he can't tell Blaine what day it is or what he was doing right before he lost consciousness no matter how hard he tries. Blaine asks questions, and makes notes on his chart, trying to focus on anything other than those piercing blue eyes and is surprised to find that when he does look up, they are focused in on his left hand, a small smile flitting across Kurt's features. He feels himself blush when he realizes that this man, this highly attractive man, this man who is a patient, has just checked him for a wedding band. Blaine keeps himself together and finishes his questioning, checking Kurt's vitals before consulting with the admitting physician and finally deciding to keep his patient overnight for observation. In the end though, that's all they can do and the next day Kurt is released with a business card for Blaine's clinic and a promise from Kurt that he'll take better care of himself.

It isn't until a little later in the day, after Kurt's been released that Blaine finally figures out what his patients claim to fame is. He logged on to his computer with the intention of checking his email but when he gets to the site he's distracted by the daily news that's scrolling across the page, namely a story about 'former model and current fashion guru' Kurt Hummel. He only reads the first paragraph before he clicks back and continues on to his email, he can't get attached to his patients, he knows this, it only leads to trouble. He learned early on that there is only so much you can do for people, and you can't do anything at all if they don't admit they have a problem first, which Blaine firmly believes that Kurt hasn't, or at least he has acknowledge the extent of it. He still can't quite banish the thoughts of those eyes or the man that they belong too in the days that follow and each morning he can't help but take an extra careful look at his appointment books, searching to see if that now familiar name is anywhere too be found.

Two weeks of worrying later, the name finally shows up on the schedule, but he finds a frown tugging at his lips when he realizes that Kurt has made an appointment with his colleague and not Blaine himself. He spends the rest of his morning being grateful that Kurt has made an appointment at all and trying to fight off part of his brain worrying that he somehow made this man feel uncomfortable during the short time he'd treated him. This is a first for him, in the time that he's been practicing he has never had a patient choose to seek other care after consulting with him, and he's even less sure what to think about still Kurt using his clinic. He throws himself into his sessions after lunch, ignoring the ticking of the clock that is counting down the minutes until Kurt's scheduled appointment and by the end of his day he's actually managed to push it too the back of his mind. So, he is surprised to find Kurt still sitting in the waiting area once he's gathered his things and locked his office, even more so when he glances at the clock and realizes that the other man's appointment should have ended nearly thirty minutes ago.

"Mr. Hummel", Blaine nods, slipping behind the reception desk to look over the next day's schedule, trying his best not to stare too much at the man, _the patient_, he reminds himself.

"Dr. Anderson", Kurt greets in reply and Blaine is puzzled to find that the gorgeous man is smiling at him when he looks up, "Would it be to forward of me to ask if you'd like to get coffee?"

Blaine startles at that, because the last thing he was expecting was for this gorgeous man to ask him out, "Yes, it probably would be", He answers, trying to be as gentle in the let down as possible. "Kurt, you had an appointment here today, so I'm assuming that you've been told that now isn't the best time to be trying to start relationships."

Kurt is silent and Blaine can practically see the thoughts running through his mind as he analyzes the statement before he smiles and asks, "So you are gay then?"

Even if Blaine had known that it was coming, it still didn't stop him from nearly swallowing his tongue, he flounders, trying to come up with a appropriate answer when Emily, the receptionist, comes in from the back, her coat and purse in hand.

"Goodnight, Dr. Anderson", She waves before letting herself out and after a quick mental check, Blaine comes to the conclusion that it's just him and Kurt left in the building.

Kurt is still looking at him expectantly and Blaine isn't sure why he's telling this man he barely knows, _this patient_, his mind supplies again, but when he opens his mouth to respond it tumbles out, "I'm still in the closet, Kurt", He sighs, plopping down into the chair behind the reception desk.

Kurt is silent, staring intently for a moment, "Okay, how about this then", He pauses, wetting his lips, "I don't like Dr. Adams, at all", He rolls his eyes when saying the woman's name. "So why don't you help me with my problem and I could help you with yours, and we can just see where we end up."

Blaine knows how he needs to respond, he's a professional and this could hurt his career, but he can't seem to look past the thought that this is the first time in years that he's felt anything other than lust when thinking about a man. His mind is racing to make a list of pro's and con's and he's just almost worked himself up to answering in the negative when a small voice in the back of his mind chips in and asks why he cares about how this will affect his career when he doesn't even like his job. It still takes him a couple of minutes to respond after that but he knows what his answer is, and when he finally works his mouth open to speak it's barely above a whisper. "Okay", He murmurs and for a split second he thinks that Kurt didn't even hear him until he looks up and catches the grin threatening to split the man's face in half.

"Okay", Kurt breathes, still smiling widely, "How about that coffee then", He questions.

"Sure", Blaine responds, and for the first time in a long time, he finds himself smiling and he realizes that it's genuine.


	4. No Problem

It was official, Kurt Hummel had the worst luck in the world, he decided. Of all the things in the world, he goes and misses a few measly meals and ends up passing out in the middle of his office, and then that nosy little secretary of his had to go and take him to the hospital when she would have just splashed his face with some cold water. Then to top it all off, for the first time in months a man catches his eye and it's the freaking doctor that is treating him, the doctor who is convinced that it wasn't just dehydration that caused him to pass out. Now that whiny little bitch that caused this whole mess keeps showing up in his office with muffins and sandwich's and other foods full of empty calories and the only way he's ever going to see that strikingly handsome man again is if he makes an appointment with a quack. He knows the laws though, he looked them up to make sure even, if he makes an appointment with Dr. Anderson then there is no way in hell he's ever going to get a date, but there is a lady that practices in the same office.

He won't say that he learned nothing from his little fainting spell, it was a wakeup call of sorts for him but saying he has an eating disorder is just plain stupid. He's been exhausted, yes, and sure that caused him to miss a few more meals than usual but it's nothing he can't handle. Since his release from the hospital he hasn't stayed at the office past ten o'clock at night once and being at home for more than an hour or two at a time has lead him to remembering breakfast on most mornings and as far as he's concerned the problem is solved. He's gotten himself back into a routine of sorts; out of the office by ten, at least six hours of sleep every night, breakfast and gym time in the mornings, and back to the office by nine. There is still the issue of seeing the doctor again and Kurt knows it's a risk, he's not even sure if the man is gay but there was no wedding ring and everything that he pulled up on google has lead him to believe that there is no girlfriend either so there's still hope yet. He waits two weeks, just long enough to make sure that the bags are gone from under his eyes and that he no longer looks like the walking dead, and then makes an appointment with the Dr. Adams that works with Dr. Anderson. He almost skips it and when he actually does get there he wishes that he had because that dumpy little women just keeps digging for information and by the time his hour is up, Kurt is thoroughly proud of himself for not clawing the woman's face off.

When he leaves the office and returns up front though he's sad to note that Dr. Anderson is still nowhere in sight and at the last minute he makes up a lie about having to wait for a ride, even though his car is actually right across the street, and takes a seat back out in the waiting area. Dr. Adams catches him when she is leaving and he finds himself lying again when she asks why he didn't rebook, telling the hag that he forgot his planner and he'll just have to call and schedule one later though he has no intentions of ever seeing that woman again if at all possible. The receptionist begins to close things down and Kurt worries for a moment that Dr. Anderson may not even be in the office today but just as he's about to lose hope and leave before he can be kicked out, the doctor comes wandering out behind what Kurt assumes is his last patient of the day. They talk for a moment and Kurt is proud of himself when he manages not to do a victory dance when the doctor admits that he is gay and even though he isn't out, which could be potentially problematic later on, Kurt still counts it as a win. He doesn't know why he does it but in the end, he winds up using his nonexistent problem as leverage for a date and this time he at least allows himself to mentally jump up and down when the doctor agrees. He won't admit it as they walk through the chilly New York streets but he actually did look up coffee shops in the area of Dr. Anderson's, or _Blaine_ as he asked to be called, office prior to his appointment.

"So _Blaine_", Kurt says, testing out the name on his tongue and liking the way it sounds, "How long have you lived in New York?"

"Over ten years now", Blaine replies as they walk, their pace unhurried and casual despite the chill, "What about you?"

"About the same", Kurt sighs, thinking back to his early days in the city, "I was running back forth between here and Ohio at first but I've lived here exclusively since I was eighteen."

"Really, Ohio?" Blaine questions, a small smile playing at his lips, "I used to live there as well", He trails off, making a face before adding, "I can't say that I miss it though."

"No, I can't really say that either", Kurt smiles as they arrive outside the coffee shop.

The conversation rolls on easily from there as they head inside and place their orders and Kurt is happy to note that Blaine doesn't seem to be in a hurry to talk about Kurt's 'problem'. He does however make an effort not to automatically order the least fattening drink on the menu, opting for a nonfat mocha over his usual black coffee. They talk about their childhoods, their college days, and so on, and Kurt thinks that he could get used to this. Blaine is someone that he actually has a little bit in common with and he thinks a relationship between them could work; it wouldn't be like it was with Jesse, where you had two people dating just because of looks, and sex, the sex was good, he'll give Jesse that much. He mentally thanks his lucky stars when Blaine admits that he actually isn't very fond of his job and the conversation rolls forwards until suddenly two hours have passed and they are trading phone numbers and heading their separate ways. This should be easy, he thinks as he walks back towards his car, he doesn't actually have a problem, he's healthy enough and if Blaine needs to think that he is a little healthier than he actually is, then he can fake it easily. They're just getting to know one another, Blaine won't be seeing what he does every minute of everyday so yeah, this should be very easy indeed.


	5. Healthy

Four weeks and ten dates, and Blaine really hadn't meant for things to get this far out of hand so fast, he'd meant to stick to his guns and he'd meant for them to go through with their original agreement. They had talked a little bit, Blaine had been curious as to how Kurt had come out and after a handful of discussions between the two of them, and even one between him and a friend of Kurt's, he had managed to come out to those who worked in his practice. Though really that had been unintentional, but after his receptionist, Emily, had come back to retrieve her forgotten purse one evening and caught them in a kiss just a few steps outside his clinic, Blaine hadn't really had a choice but it still felt nice in the end, having at least a handful of people know and accept him. He was sure that with Dr. Adams knowing that there were most certainly rumors floating around at the hospital by now but he was just thankful that Emily had been nice enough not to mention _whom_ Blaine had been kissing to anyone. After four weeks and ten dates, Blaine was also certain that he'd never cared so deeply for another man in all his life, which was scary and exciting all at the same time. He was still concerned for Kurt's health though and still had every intention of discussing things with him, but Kurt was a master at changing subjects and while Blaine knew about, and disapproved of Kurt regularly skipping lunch, he couldn't help but be intrigued by the amount of work the man got done with that extra hour in his day.

He'd tried subtly at first, making private dinners for them at his house, and then reservations at the best restaurants in town, bringing lunch up to Kurt's office, and even showing up at Kurt's apartment one morning with coffee and bagels. Kurt always played nice, never outright refusing food but the way he carefully picked at the meals made it obvious to Blaine that he wasn't really interested in eating them and then the second time he showed up with breakfast he found the tables turned on him when Kurt invited him to join him at the gym that morning. Blaine took a minute to think about it and finally decided that relationships, no matter how unconventional they may be, are about give and take, and no matter how you figured it, Kurt had been trying, or at least putting up with Blaine's attempts to get him to eat, and now it was Blaine's turn. It quickly became part of their everyday routines, Kurt enjoyed the company and Blaine felt like he could make sure Kurt wasn't pushing himself to hard if he was there. Then there was the creeping thought in the back of his mind, the thought that popped up every time they were together it seemed, the thought that if Kurt was so meticulous about his own appearance then he probably wanted similar qualities in a boyfriend.

He hadn't worked out regularly in years and he was almost as scared of the idea of Kurt seeing him without a shirt, and discovering the teensy bit of pudge there as he was of seeing Kurt without one, and finding out just how much all of those layers that Kurt wore were hiding. Blaine decided then that maybe _showing_ Kurt what a healthy lifestyle was would help more than just talking; if Kurt knew what a healthy workout routine looked like, if he knew what a healthy meal looked like, then maybe he'd be more inclined to give it a try. He would change his own habits, and once Kurt saw the difference in him, things would be better for both of them. Once he cut out all of those fatty steaks he ordered, and ended his love affair with his Chinese takeout menu, once he stopped just listening to Kurt's snickers as he walked on the treadmill at the gym and actually put some effort into it, everything would be better, he was sure of it.

It was Friday night and the start of Blaine's first weekend off in what seemed like forever and they had planned on dinner and a movie but Blaine decided early in the afternoon that they could have both of those things right there at his house. He knew that after a month of dating that Kurt would probably be expecting takeout of some kind upon his arrival and Blaine got excited about the idea of actually cooking instead, making a quick trip down to the grocery store and then setting about his task, crossing his fingers that he didn't burn the whole building down. It ended with only a minor burn to Blaine's hand and no harm to the food and he decided fairly quickly that the look of surprise on Kurt's face when he arrived and found a home cooked meal and not Chinese was well worth the burn. Once they were both seated and served, Blaine mentally reminded himself; eat slowly and take small bites, _healthy_, he told himself. They ate in comfortable silence at first, but after ten minutes or so, Blaine could feel Kurt's eyes on him, he kept his attention on his plate, cutting his chicken up into tiny pieces until Kurt finally broke the silence.

"Are you okay Blaine", Kurt questioned, a look of concern on his face, "We don't have to do this tonight if you aren't feeling well or something."

Blaine's eyes widened, that wasn't the impression he was trying to give off at all, "Oh, no, I'm fine I promise."

Kurt raised an eyebrow skeptically, "Are you sure", He paused, "I mean, we've been at the table for over ten minutes and there's still food on your plate", He joked good-naturedly.

"Oh", Blaine chuckled, "I guess I just decided that actually tasting the food for once might be nice", He smiled widely.

"If you're sure", Kurt said softly, biting his lip as Blaine nodded, letting the subject drop as he stabbed at a finely cut piece of chicken.

They continued talking; keeping the conversation light throughout the meal, though Blaine was sure he could see Kurt narrow his eyes at him when he deposited his plate in the sink without going back for his usual seconds. The subject thankfully wasn't brought up again though as they moved into the living room, Kurt moving to pick out a movie before snuggling into Blaine's side. The entire time Blaine was running what was quickly becoming his mantra over and over through his head; I'm teaching myself how to be healthy and I'm teaching Kurt how to be healthy, we will both be better off in the end. The small part of his brain that was ruled by his years of medical training couldn't help but chip in, adding _I wouldn't be so sure about that_. He kept repeating it though, and by the time he kissed Kurt goodnight, he'd almost managed to shut the therapist in him up, almost.


	6. Coming Out and Passing Out

Kurt knew that something was up, in the short time he'd known Blaine he had never seen the other man eat so healthy or so little for that matter, he'd insisted he wasn't sick though and he really didn't look sick either so yes, something was up. He was ready to brush the whole thing off as a fluke incident when Blaine showed up right on time the next morning for their trip to the gym but his suspicion started building again when he didn't show up trying to persuade him into eating lunch. After a few days he began to think that maybe Blaine had finally accepted that Kurt didn't have a problem and that thought made him happy, all of the guilt tripping had been starting to get too him. After two weeks though he was beginning to miss the time that they had been spending with one another over their lunch breaks but when he called to see if Blaine wanted to meet for coffee during the lunch hour it went to voicemail. Then when he'd called the clinic Emily had informed him that Blaine had begun seeing patients during his lunch hour, weird.

They were getting close to Christmas though and it seemed like every other industry in the world had a surge of business this time of year, so Kurt assumed that it was probably the same even in Blaine's line of work. Blaine returned his call two hours later, asking if they could meet for coffee after work instead and life moved on as normal for the two. As the weeks continued to pass and their relationship continued to progress, Kurt thought that maybe the end of their lunch dates was for the better, spending all of their time together would only lead to them being burnt out on each other. He did notice that Blaine seemed more tired than usual though, but he brushed that off as being the extended work hours and the upped gym routine that Blaine had now taken on. If the extra tiredness lead to Blaine falling asleep at Kurt's house a couple of times along the way, well, neither of them really seemed to mind and soon enough, overnight dates became just as regular for them as gym dates and coffee dates. They went about their business as the holidays approached, each of them making their own plans, with both of them making their mandatory trips back to Ohio and then planning to have a small celebration for just the two of them back in New York afterwards.

They had planned everything out, they would both be flying into Columbus on the twenty-third where Kurt's parents, Burt and Carole, would be picking him up and Blaine would be renting a car to make the trip to Westerville. This way Blaine could have a short but sweet introduction to Kurt's family without there being ample time for awkward questions and well-intentioned but still embarrassing threatening from Burt. They would spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day with their own families before flying back out of Columbus together and back to New York where both Blaine's clinic and Kurt's office would remain closed through the start of the new year. Blaine would, of course, remain on call at the hospital but they were crossing their fingers for some quality alone time.

Kurt loved his family, but his yearly trip home was always a tense one for him, Burt and Carole had good intentions but he'd had enough people telling him he was too skinny this year; he put up with it though, because all parties involved knew it was the only time they'd have together until next Christmas. The holiday went by without a hitch and the next day Burt dropped Kurt back off at the airport, clapping Blaine on the shoulder and telling him to take care of his son for him. Blaine just smiled and shook the older man's hand and parted, making their way towards security, it wasn't until they were at their gate though that Kurt noticed that something was off. He let it go during the flight but once they were safe and sound back in New York, Kurt decided it was time to get some answers, Blaine had barely said a word since they reunited and it was starting to worry the other man.

"I came out to my parents", Blaine said after they'd entered his apartment, answering Kurt's question before he could even ask it, "Again", He added with a humorless chuckle.

"Oh", Kurt barely managed to keep himself from asking how it went, the look in Blaine's eyes giving the answer to that question away, "Are you okay", He asked instead, coming over to sit next to the other man on the couch.

"Fine", Blaine stared straight ahead, no emotion showing, "I spent Christmas day in a hotel down the road from the airport so I'd say the holiday went slightly better than I thought it would."

"Blaine", Kurt grasped his hand, trying to get Blaine to look at him, "Why didn't you call me, you could have come to Lima, I mean, you shouldn't have been alone on Christmas day."

Blaine finally turned to look at him, smiling slightly before leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek, "Kurt, I really care about you", He sighed," You know that, but we've barely been dating for three months and you and I both know that it would have been too soon. Sometime in the future, I'll look forward to holidays with your family, but for now, well, spending the day by myself was actually a step up from the usual time I spent with my parents."

Kurt nodded in understanding, sensing that the other man didn't want to discuss the matter further he changed the subject, "Well, I don't know about you, but I could use some coffee. What do you say we walk down to that little café on the corner, I saw it was open on the way here."

Blaine sagged in relief at the change of subject, "That sounds good, but first, I need to give you the gift that I got for you", He smiled, pulling a small box from the drawer on his coffee table.

"Blaine", Kurt laughed, "I thought we agreed that we weren't doing gifts for our first Christmas."

"Well then, don't think of this as a Christmas gift, it isn't really, I was planning on giving it too you anyways and the timing just worked out", He smiled, watching as Kurt opened the box, pulling the key out of it. "It's a key to my house, that way you can come and go as you please, and not have to rush around to be out of here the same time as me on the mornings you're here."

"Thank you", Kurt said softly, cupping Blaine's face gently before pressing their lips together is a quick kiss, "Now, coffee?"

"Coffee", Blaine agreed as they moved to put their coats back on.

Things moved on as usual and seemingly in the blink of an eye, they had rung in the New Year and both men were heading back to work. The subject of Blaine's parents or his coming out never coming up again though Kurt could tell that whatever his parent's reactions had been, it had hurt him deeply and it seemed like he looked just a little more worn down with each passing day. Before he knew it though it was almost the end of January and Kurt was knee deep in fashion designs, preparing for an upcoming runway show and while he missed all of the extra time he'd been spending with Blaine, the other man understood that the long hours were needed. So he was surprised, but happy for the interruption, when his phone rang midday and he saw that the incoming call was from Blaine.

"Hey you", He answered, a smile on his face as he continued his work.

"Kurt?" A female voice questioned over the line.

"Yes, who is this", Kurt asked, pulling the phone back to make sure he hadn't misread who the call was from.

"This is Emily", The voice responded, "From Dr. Andersons office", She paused, sounding distressed, "Kurt, Blaine passed out at work a little while ago. He's awake now and I've got him drinking some water but I really don't think he needs to stay here. I've canceled the rest of his appointments for the day and I'm going to take him home but I don't want to leave him by himself, he's a little out of it still, and I can't stay with him since Dr. Adams is still seeing patients."

"I'm leaving right now", Kurt breathed, panic building up in his chest, "I'll meet you there", He grabbed his coat, hanging up the phone as he rushed out of his office.


	7. Admission

Kurt was terrified, this wasn't supposed to happen, Blaine wasn't supposed to get involved in this part of things, he was supposed to just forget how they met and ignore the fact that Kurt might not always eat when he was supposed to. Now though, he can't help but stare at the man asleep on the couch and take note that he's lost some weight and he can't help but hear the words coming out of Emily's mouth about skipping lunch and working longer hours and Kurt just knows that this is all his fault. His thoughts are running a mile a minute and looking over the last month or so, Kurt can't even remember the last time the two of them actually had a meal together. Sure, there have been coffee dates and shared popcorn during movies and Kurt has always known in those moments that the popcorn would be the only thing he ate that day, but now it's hitting him that it might have been the only thing that Blaine ate that day and it's killing him. For the life of him, he just can't understand why it hurts so bad. It has never bothered him when he's skipped his own meals, he's never given a thought to how him skipping a meal might make someone else feel but now it's Blaine and the thought of him skipping a meal or intentionally doing this to himself makes Kurt's chest ache in a way he never thought it could.

When he finally pulls himself from his thoughts, Kurt realizes that Emily had left at some point during his mental breakdown and that he is now practically sobbing while Blaine continues to sleep peacefully. He pulls himself together enough to go into the kitchen and start scavenging through the pantry, finally coming away with what he hopes are adequate ingredients for chicken soup, it's been so long since he cooked, he can't remember perfectly off the top of his head. He sets to work on the soup, his thoughts drifting again and he can't let the thought go, that if this is the way he feels about Blaine right now, is it the same feeling his family gets when they see him, is it the same feeling Blaine gets when he looks at him? Another sob escapes his throat at that because he never wanted to hurt anyone; he never wanted to hurt himself. He never even thought that he was hurting himself but he's looking at his life and the decisions that lead him to where he was right now and it's plain as day, he's been hurting himself and the people he loves the most all along.

The soup is almost ready when he hears a groan from the couch, and after hurriedly fixing a glass of water, he rushes out to where Blaine is now awake and sitting with his head in his hands. "Here, drink this", His voice is shaky and a few tears are still threatening to spill over, "I've got soup on the stove, it'll be ready in about fifteen minutes."

Blaine is peeking up at him through his hands now, eye's going squinty from all of the light in the room and Kurt hurries to dim some of them as Blaine asks, "How did I get back here", His voice still thick with sleep and a little shaky as well.

"Emily brought you, after you passed out in the middle of your office between clients", Kurt answers feeling another onslaught of tears coming on as he thinks back to the phone call he received just hours before.

Blaine just shakes his head as Kurt talks, "She shouldn't have called you, she kn-"

"Oh yes she should have", Kurt cuts in surprising both of them with the power in his voice, "Since this is _my_ fault after all."

Blaine just sighs, "Kurt, it's not y-"

"Blaine Anderson", Kurt cuts in again, "Can you honestly tell me that you would have ever thought to have skipped a meal if it weren't for me, if you hadn't seen me do it so many times."

Blaine stays silent, "That's what I thought", Kurt chokes back another sob as he stalks out of the room and back into the kitchen to start dishing up the soup, returning a moment later to set a bowl and sleeve of saltines in front of Blaine before taking a seat himself and turning his attention towards his own bowl.

They both stay silent as they focus on the food in front of them, since this is the very reason for their current situation, and both of them slowly and determinedly eat the soup, even though Kurt is sure that it could have used some more seasoning.

They'd both managed to pick their way through most of their bowls when Blaine speaks, "I just thought that maybe if you saw me making healthy choices, you'd be more inclined to make them yourself, and I took it to far and I'm sorry", He finished softly.

"_You're_ sorry", Kurt laughed, the sound choked and humorless, "This is _my_ fault, _I have a problem_ and I drug you right into the middle of it."

"Yeah Kurt, you do have a problem", Blaine sighed, "But when you love someone, you take on their problems, and you want to help them and I fucked up, big time, so now we have to help each other."

Kurt was sobbing again and Blaine could feel the tears building in his own eyes but he knew this was a conversation they needed to have; "I know I'm the first person to admit that I don't like my job, but that doesn't mean that I don't believe in the work. I have a friend, a guy I went to college with, that I think both of us should see; separately and together because I love you Kurt, really, I do, but what we have right now isn't healthy, at all."

Kurt only nodded and Blaine finally gave in, moving across the couch to pull the other man into his arms as he cried, pressing a kiss to Kurt's temple before giving in to his own tears as he thought back on his own stupidity over the last couple of months. They were in a bad place, he knew that, but he had faith that they could get through it and he just knew that in the end, everything would work out and they would be okay, they just had to be.

_A/N-Okay, ladies and gentleman, boys, girls, and unicorns alike, this would be the end of the main story! We just have an epilogue left now!_


	8. Epilogue

Authors Note-I am SO sorry it has taken so long for me to get this up, but here it is and I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed, and thank you to my inspiration, pantlesshero! 3

Four years, it had been four years, Kurt realized as he fiddled with his wedding band, watching as his dad and step-mom embraced his husband in the middle of the Columbus airport. He'd be lying if he said that the last four years had been easy, they had been far from that, but they had lead him to where he was now, and what he had right now was worth it all. Some days were still more difficult than others were, he still found himself struggling at times but all it took was something as simple as a call from Blaine and he'd remember right away why he was doing this, and that it was all worth it. He still met with Dr. Brady, Blaine's friend, once a week, and he and Blaine always made an effort to sit down together twice a day to eat but most importantly, they always took time to talk. They talked about everything, not just the superficial topics that Kurt had always kept to in years past, through the good and the bad; they always made time to talk about what they were feeling and how they were dealing everything. They'd talked, and cried together, when Blaine first brought up the idea of going back to school, and they'd taken turns listening to and holding each other as they discussed their biggest fears.

He and Blaine had been married for six months now, but if he was honest, Kurt was certain that the day Blaine proposed would always stick out more in his mind than the day they'd gotten married. The day Blaine had proposed was also the day he'd gotten his teaching certificate, and it was the day they had first discussed selling Kurt's house and officially moving in together. They'd put Kurt's house up for sale and two weeks before the wedding, it finally sold, they'd talked about selling Blaine's penthouse as well, buying a place that would be theirs from the get go but decided to wait. After they said 'I Do', Kurt had officially introduced his husband to the world and when walking the red carpet at the launch of his new line, and right after he'd announced that he was taking a break and leaving the designing to his team while he focus on his new marriage. Everything in his life felt new and different now, but more than anything else, for the first time in his life, no matter how difficult things may have seemed at times, it felt right.


End file.
